so glad

So glad there is xanga, so glad I kept my feelings on paper. So glad that there are dreams, hopes and life.

When i thought Law school sucked, I thought things would never changed. Law school does not suck that much anymore and I am going to miss it. Starting in 2010, I slowly realized that it did not suck that much anymore. Then there was 2011, when i started to look back to 2010 and 2009 and 2008 and felt that thank god I did something in college and now i really need to start doing something with law school otherwise it would as if i had never done anything for 3 years. so far I have not been very successful at it. law school is still very uptight and people don't make that tight of a bond unless you drink a lot. I don't drink that much so hardly make those bond. but that is okay, I think life never really goes by empty, you would always learn something new along the way, so don't worry, be happy. 

I was good lord so sad for the whole weekend, I got to a point that day and night just blended in together. i heard the news on friday, I guess I was really worked up and it sucked up all my energy. I just could not wake up.

I learned so much over the past 3 years, it almost made my life before the 3 years as if it was a joke. what I meant was man I was a child. how funny. well life continues and it will never go by empty. 

Good bye my love, good bye to you, both of you. it is sad to watch life go bye and people go by but then you realize it is not that sad if you are able to really really enjoy what you had and say wow I learned so much from it. oh yes, you taught me that. 

one day, my path will be a bright one again, not like this current situation where i feel lost and beat up. when I needed a dec vacation, I got a not so great one. right now, I look back I see why I was so disappointed. I had high hope, I wished for too much. Jack was right about something. high expectation = great disappointment

But he is also over looking something that it is not really what you expected made you disappointed, it is how you faced it and realized it made you disappointed. I think I am okay now... well almost... well getting there. lets just say I am better. Yes I am better. It is always good to get better. 

everyday

Everyday and every moment, we learn to be someone different and struggle to stay the same.  In reflection of my friend's tag line - The only constant is change. Very true. 

Sometimes you look back and realized how far you have gone. Some other times you would look back and wonder how you have got here. Regardless you must have realized something at least two given moment or more. Sometimes I don't give in and sometimes I do. I realized what it means to not hold on too tight. After all I am only responsible for myself. I can try to take care myself. Life does not wait, it is not like our life is mark with some years of break so we can recharge and continue with it. It is always going and we can only pray that our effort will turn into something useful for ourselves in the next few days or few years to come.

I find each profession to dictate what sorta person we are. I realized that I have been given a great gift to study to be an attorney. My mind is sharper than ever -- in a sense. (studying and stress has itself burned some cells for me) Nonetheless, I am now a machine of analyzing. I find all things promised in life to come true. I receive it with great acceptance and realization that while I might be different I will not be a worse version of myself. Can I do that?  I think so, with practice all things are possible. 

I don't think it is good to let the profession dictate who we are, but sometimes you have got to look at things with positivity. After all, all analyzing is just use to arrive to a conclusion. And sometimes because where you need to end up at has got to be great (you ought to make it great! "make it count.") you arrive to that point despite of all challenges and mistakes. 

Oh I make mistakes. Gosh I have! I realized I really learn more in mistakes than no mistakes. That is no lie. But I did not just have smooth sailing without some real pain and hardwork. So the bottom line is taking in all things and make it all count and arrive to a place where success awaits. No matter the path is hard or easy, it is what the end matters. 

While I am no longer an engineer, and not yet an attorney, I realized I am more dynamic than ever. I realized that I am more than I thought I would ever be. I am more wrong than ever thought I would hope to be, I am less intelligent than I've ever wish I were, I am more confused than ever, and I am less generous than I thought am, and while I realized all things in life is not perfect, I learn that I must correct somethings and make things right. And yes, I also realized that I might not to do that either. 

Have a nice day, like what you think -- life is worth being glad and worship of, so actually feel happy, rather than say it is good. I realized that. 

it is almost Dec!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, can't believe it is almost been a year since I wrote something on xanga. Remember all the good days when I relied on xanga for all the decisions I had to make in life.

Trust me there is a xanga fairy who answer your question when you are dreaming at night!

To all of you my friends who still use xanga, booya that is right you are the lucky people because you have just set yourselves apart from others who have quit since 2005. To all of you who just started xanga, I really don't know why since the fairy has gotten to know us for all these past years, I don't know if she really cares about helping you but on the other hand, maybe, xanga fairy does want to get to know you since she has been so damn bored without visitors!~

I just want to declare I know and I know that I truly know for a fact that without a doubt for a single second in any given moment that runs by my very body that is made by every cell of me can really say this: I have never dreamed and hoped more for this Dec than any other December. I think it is for the following reasons:

1) I am getting older, so I need vacation

2) I finally can be sure I am going to have a good vacation since last winter vacation was so nice it set a milestone whatever anything will just naturally match up

3) I can go on a long vacation with a person I really like, I don't think I have taken winter vacation with anyone I am in a relationship with, really not joking. Especially not traveling to another country with.

4) Law school sucks ass, I never in my life complained about school as all you  know, I don't think EE ppl complaint about schools ever because we are just so nerdy, I like to be surrounded by robots (made of humen)and silver and black little things that burn up and smell once a while. I have done that, so did you, don't lie! BUT MY FRIEND, law school doe suck, it sucks big time, I don't care that you compare lib with lab, they are both starting with the letter "L" so they both suck but lib is different for the reason there is absolute no exciting things and exciting people who you can read "Chuck Norris" on a white board with. Ppl in law school suck even more than law school itself. I love EEers and I can't lie.

5) And I don't really have a 5th reason besides to say that thank you God for making things better each day in my life!         So do something about law school please... .. . yah.......

new year 08

Long vacation